Recently I was asked by my wife what was behind my need to read more books and learn more knowledge. At the time, I could not answer her and simply answered, “I don’t know.” After meditating and allowing this question to settle what initially came up on the surface was a revelation that my need to know more was linked to old behavioral patterns/issues regarding my ego’s need for recognition and approval. But that was just dust on the surface. I further realized that ultimately what was underneath the ego’s needs was a running away from what Is and what Is is who I am. Reproducing or re-enacting the past in expectation of a specific result based upon one’s past experience is like running uphill towards some non-existent prize; it is fatiguing and without insight of Reality and goes against the flow of Life. Nothing in Life is ever the same and everything is constantly changing. Trying to maintain such “sameness” ultimately leads towards a vicious cycle of suffering. “I do this because I felt happy the last time I did it”; but when one’s expectations are not met, suffering occurs. Acceptance of what Is and understanding the newness of every moment allows us to step into our Being so that we can get some sense of who we truly are.
I understand now that whatever comes my way is just what I need at every given moment. In this sense, all of my needs are met. But this does not imply that I should not have wants or desires. The take-home lesson is that when we have our wants and desires as a foundation of our identity and existence, our attachments to them provide for an unstable surface to experience Life with. But rather if our foundation is what Is and a deeper awareness of who we are, there is nothing that can stand in our way. In other words, we pursue our wants and desires without attachments knowing that they are simply outward manifestations of aspects of who we already are. It is like the carpenter who builds a chair and has no worries if the chair is broken because he can simply make another one if he desires. Our wants and desires can help guide us to find meaning and purpose in Life.
The past month or so I have been experiencing some physical pain that has no significant rhyme or reason or connection to any specific cause. Rather than stress out and worry about these symptoms I chose to slow down my life even more and be openly receptive to whatever “popped up” and allow it to reveal itself to me. Intuitively, I was gathering that in some quantum manner I was “spontaneously evolving” where deep down into my DNA and each one of my trillions of cells, change was occurring and this change was not only on a physical level but also on the level of consciousness as well. The type of books I have been reading were all related in that they all were unifying matter and Spirit; they were scientifically proving the existence of God, or a quantum consciousness, where this Divine vacuum is a matrix in which we are all interconnected. These books along with some other researching I’ve been pursuing have helped me greatly in helping others in understanding health and guiding them in finding meaning in Life. In modern physics there is what’s called the “bootstrap” theory where you take a little bit from everything and tie it all together to give an understanding of the bigger picture of existence. I basically am evolving into studying a little bit of everything and bringing them all together into unity with a greater understanding of our inter-relatedness with the All.
When the dust was cleared, the revelation was revealed: the spontaneous evolution as coined by biologist/author Bruce Lipton, is in full effect and I am in transition of letting go of the old beliefs, stories, past experiences, knowledge, etc so as to make more room for new ones. And whatever book or new knowledge I seek is really a reminder of what I have forgotten and I trust that whatever I am reminded of is just what I need at that moment in the journey of my Life experience. I share this with you because I know many of you are experiencing similar revelations and it can be too easy to get trapped in our old stories, or patterns of behaviors that are no longer serving for us. Let it be known that you are changing and you have a choice to welcome the change or to shut the door on it. I recommend leaving the door wide open.....
For those interested, the last three books I’ve read this past month are (in the order I read them):
1) The Spiritual Universe by Fred Alan Wolf, PhD
2) God is not Dead by Amit Goswami, PhD
3) The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra